BIBLE BELIEVING WOMEN'S GUIDE IN CHOOSING A HUSBAND

Written by Abrie JF Kilian

Choosing a Husband: A Bible-Believing Woman’s Greatest Responsibility

For a Bible-believing woman, the choice of a husband is no trifling matter. It is not merely a question of companionship or romance—it is the solemn forging of a legacy, the fulfillment of a divine covenant, and the safeguard of generations yet unborn. The man she selects will shape the spiritual, emotional, and physical destiny of her household, either as a sturdy bulwark or as the architect of ruin.

1. The Biological and Spiritual Reality of Marriage

At the very core of creation, a woman’s divine and biological purpose stands immutable—to bear and nurture life, while a man’s duty is to lead, to provide, and to secure the future of his household. This sacred balance is no accident of history; it is the very design of the Almighty.

Genesis 1:28 resounds through the ages: “Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it.”

A woman must not allow the ephemeral whims of modern ideology—radical individualism, materialism, or the rejection of divine order—to cloud this eternal truth. Her ability to cultivate life is a noble calling, and as such, she must exercise the utmost wisdom in selecting the man who will father her children and steward their futures.

A discerning woman will judge a man on three immutable pillars:

• Intelligence & Wisdom – A man’s ability to lead and to discern the righteous path will determine whether his household stands firm or crumbles under folly.

• Genetics – A man’s physical and mental fortitude will resonate through generations, either as a foundation of strength or a frailty to be overcome.

• Track Record – The past is not merely a record of events; it is the clearest prophecy of a man’s future conduct.

A poor choice in this matter is no mere inconvenience—it is a disaster with echoes that will reverberate through time.

2. The Husband as the Patriarch and Leader of the Home

A husband is not ordained to coddle or seek favor; he is charged with leadership. As the great Apostle Paul declared in Ephesians 5:23: “For the husband is the head of the wife as Messiah is the head of the assembly (ekklesia).”

A woman must not yoke herself to a weak or feckless man. She must seek one who will establish an indomitable household—

• One who forges sons into leaders and providers.

• One who molds daughters to recognize and choose righteousness in their own husbands.

A husband’s mission is not comfort but conquest—of the soul, of wisdom, of righteousness. As Joshua 24:15 so valiantly proclaims:“But as for me and my house, we will serve YHWH.”

If a man is lazy, self-indulgent, or fickle in his ways, he will steer his family into peril, leaving them adrift upon the tides of ruin.

3. A Man Who Provides, Protects, and Builds Stability

A husband must be the cornerstone upon which his family stands. As the Apostle Paul warned in 1 Timothy 5:8:“But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.”

A woman must flee from the reckless and the prodigal. A worthy husband is:

• Industrious – A man of relentless toil and endeavor (Proverbs 12:24).

• Discerning – One whose judgment is sound and true (Proverbs 22:29).

• Steadfast – A builder of legacies whose hands sow prosperity for his progeny (Proverbs 13:22).

Where such a man stands, there is security; where he falters, there is despair.

4. A Man’s Spiritual Leadership: The Heart of the Home

A man is not merely a provider of sustenance but of wisdom and righteous governance. Deuteronomy 6:6-7 commands: “These words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children.”

A woman must ask herself:

• Does this man walk in the counsel of the Almighty?

• Does he seek wisdom, discipline, and righteousness?

• Does he shepherd his household with unwavering conviction?

A man who lacks spiritual mettle will leave his family defenseless before the corrupting forces of the world.

5. The Consequences of Choosing Foolishly

The scriptures provide ample warning. Proverbs 14:1 exhorts: “The wise woman builds her house, but the foolish tears it down with her own hands.”

A foolish choice invites chaos:

• A home bereft of leadership and direction.

• Children led astray into folly and rebellion.

• A legacy squandered in instability and decay.

6. An Extraordinary Woman’s Right to Choose a Righteous Husband, Even in Extraordinary Unions

The wisdom of scripture does not confine a woman’s choice to solitary union. The righteous path has, on occasion, led women to align themselves with noble men who already bore the weight of matrimony.

Abigail, wife of the foolish Nabal, saw wisdom in forsaking ruin and cleaving to the anointed David (1 Samuel 25:39-42). Similarly, Priscilla and Aquila exemplified a godly partnership, working together in faith and ministry to strengthen the early church (Acts 18:2-26). These women's decision were not one of passivity, but of strength and discernment. They recognized a man of destiny and seized upon the path of righteousness.

This is the spirit in which a woman must seek her husband—not as a timid petitioner, but as a wise steward of her own fate.

Final Words: A Woman’s Choice Determines Her Destiny

A Bible-believing woman must not choose in haste nor by fickle fancy. She must measure her decision with the gravitas it deserves, for upon it rests not only her fate, but the fate of generations to come.

A wise woman lays a foundation of strength and honor. A foolish woman chooses recklessly and suffers the toll. The choice is hers—one that will shape not just her present, but generations to come. May she choose with wisdom and faith.