"SHE’D RATHER SHARE A KING THAN KEEP A KNAVE”: WHY WOMEN ARE QUIETLY MAKING SOCIETY POLYGYNOUS

She'd rather share a king than keep a knave.

Written by Abrie JF Kilian. Polygynous Society

A. Introduction – The Unseen Shift towards polygynous society

“A woman would rather share a ride in a Rolls Royce than own a Kia.”

This quip, often dismissed as cynicism, may in fact capture a deeper sociological truth—a truth few dare name aloud: the modern woman is not consciously choosing polygyny, yet her collective choices are reengineering society in that very direction.

We live in an era marked by female achievement and male disengagement. Women dominate higher education, increasingly out-earn their male counterparts in urban centers, and delay marriage well into their thirties (Morgan Stanley, 2019). Meanwhile, a quiet but seismic shift is taking place beneath the surface of courtship and covenant: elite men are being clustered around by numerous women, while a growing pool of men are excluded from the mating market altogether (Buss, The Evolution of Desire, 2016; Rudder, Dataclysm, 2015).

Evolutionary psychologist Dr. Orion Taraban has described this phenomenon as a “mating wave.” In his words, male desirability rises slowly and crests later in life—whereas female value, judged by fertility and beauty under hypergamous logic, peaks earlier and declines more sharply. The result is not equilibrium, but asymmetry. And from asymmetry emerges scarcity—scarcity of covenantal men, not of male attention. (Taraban, WOMEN are making society POLYGAMOUS: the surprising consequence of female success; Youtube, 2022).

Enter soft polygyny: not the structured, covenantal plurality of Biblical patriarchs, but the foggy frontier of emotionally entangled entitlements—multiple women orbiting a single man without title, trust, or telos. What was once the province of kings has become the reality of dating apps and evangelical waiting rooms alike. Tinder has replaced Torah. Attraction has replaced covenant.

This article does not celebrate chaos. It calls for clarity. If society is quietly becoming polygynous, then the Church must answer: will we sanctify what Scripture regulates—or continue to forbid what YHWH never condemned?

Across the following sections, we shall trace this unseen shift through sociological data, psychological instinct, and Biblical witness. We will show why polygyny, far from being barbaric or backward, may in fact be the last remaining structure capable of harmonizing female hypergamy, male purpose, and covenantal legacy.

The future is plural. The question is—will it be holy or hidden?

B. Hypergamy in the Age of Female Success

At the core of female mate selection lies a principle as old as Genesis and as modern as the swipe-right economy: hypergamy—the tendency for women to seek men of equal or higher status, competence, and provision. Far from being a social construct, hypergamy is a well-established biological and psychological phenomenon, affirmed across cultures, generations, and mating systems (Buss, The Evolution of Desire, 2016).

As women ascend socially, professionally, and educationally, one might assume that their marital options expand. Paradoxically, the opposite is true. The pool of men deemed "marriageable" by hypergamous standards is shrinking. This is not for lack of men, but for lack of men who rise. Women are succeeding, and men—especially working-class and low-status men—are falling behind (Morgan Stanley, 2019; Kotsadam, Moen & Røed, 2019).

In 2023, Pew Research reported that women now make up nearly 60% of college graduates in the U.S. and a growing percentage of high-income earners. Yet studies reveal that these same women are the least likely to marry. Why? Because the higher a woman rises, the fewer men she finds acceptable to follow (Geary, 2004). She is climbing the mountain—only to discover that there are no men waiting at the summit.

This is not mere theory. According to the General Social Survey (GSS), the rate of sexlessness among men under 30 has more than tripled since 2008, with nearly one-third of young men reporting no sexual activity in the past year. Meanwhile, the top 20% of men, in terms of attractiveness or status, report greater-than-average sexual access—often with no covenant or commitment (Rudder, Dataclysm, 2015). The result is what sociologists call mating market concentration: the many chasing the few.

What emerges is not polygyny in name, but polygyny in function: multiple women relationally or sexually tied to the same man, often without even knowing it. This is the rise of soft polygyny—an unstructured, unaccountable system driven not by theology or tradition, but by unregulated desire.

And yet the tragedy is not merely statistical. The moral cost is incalculable. Many women today are offered two bleak choices: “share” a man who commands multiple female admirers—or “settle” for a man who lacks mission, maturity, or mantle. Hypergamy, once sanctified in Abraham’s tent, now unravels into exhaustion and entropy. Women date emotionally unavailable men while passing over covenant-ready men simply because they lack social prestige.

Even the so-called “female empowerment” of modernity comes with a Faustian bargain: more degrees, more travel, more independence—but fewer stable families, fewer covenant men, and far fewer children born into legacy. As one woman confessed anonymously in a qualitative study on dating app fatigue, “We can get sex anytime. We just can’t get a future.”

This is not an argument against female success. It is an argument for honest architecture. If hypergamy cannot be eradicated—and if male excellence cannot be evenly distributed—then any system that insists on one-to-one pairing only will produce silent chaos.

In this environment, polygyny is not a regression—it is a restoration. It is a return to covenantal plurality as an answer to systemic asymmetry. Not every man is fit for many wives, but some are—and many women, facing diminishing options, would rather share a righteous king than keep a spiritual knave.

It is time to stop asking, “Why is polygyny happening?” and start asking, “Why are we forbidding what the Bible never condemned, and what biology appears to support?”

We now turn to where this reality is most stark: the Church. What happens when millions of women are faithful—but alone? What happens when monogamy is culturally assumed—but relationally abandoned?

Let us consider now the collapse of monogamy—even in the household of faith.

C. The Collapse of Monogamy—Even in the Church

It is one thing for the secular world to flirt with soft polygyny, to normalize male promiscuity and female competition as just another feature of the dating “marketplace.” But when the same pattern manifests in the Church—among those who profess covenant, chastity, and Christ—then we are no longer confronting merely a sociological failure. We are confronting a theological one.

In the United States alone, there are over 20 million unmarried Christian women, the majority of whom are sincere, stable, and spiritually committed (Barna Group, 2019). These women are not single because they lack virtue. Quite the contrary—they are often the most servant-hearted, faithful, and capable members of their congregations. And yet, despite decades of obedience and readiness, they remain unwed. Their pastors tell them to “wait on God.” But what if the supply chain is broken?

The problem is not necessarily a lack of men, numerically speaking. The problem is a lack of marriageable men—covenant-capable and leadership-qualified men. According to Pew Research (2021), Christian men are increasingly disengaged from Church life, spiritual formation, and relational maturity. Many either delay commitment indefinitely or opt for covert sexual relationships masked as “dating.” Women, meanwhile, are catechized into a monogamy-only paradigm that assumes every woman has her “one” somewhere—so long as she prays, waits, and doesn’t settle.

But Scripture does not promise that every faithful woman will receive her own exclusive husband. Nowhere is that guaranteed. What is promised is that YHWH sets the solitary in families (Ps. 68:6)—but the structure of those families may not always resemble Western marital ideals. (This position was held based upon the Greek text and not the deficient English translation.)

And herein lies the tension: churches continue to preach monogamy as if it were a Biblical command while the relational ecosystem quietly collapses around them. In practice, the faithful are living out unacknowledged polygyny: one high-status, charismatic “alpha” male surrounded by a bevy of spiritual sisters who all wish to marry him—but only one is allowed to. The others languish in loneliness, spiritual frustration, or unhealthy “friendships” that border on emotional entanglement.

This model creates three devastating consequences:

1. Relational Paralysis – Men are discouraged from rising to Biblical headship because the standard of being a “one-woman man” (1 Tim. 3:2) has been interpreted numerically rather than morally. They fear that multiple marriages disqualify them—when, in fact, Scripture disqualifies men for infidelity, not plurality. A righteous man with two wives and an upright character is deemed less suitable than a monogamous man addicted to pornography.

2. Sexual Pluralism without Covenant – As Christian women delay marriage in hopes of a suitable “one,” many are drawn into long-term entanglements with non-covenant men. These relationships, often rationalized as “missional dating” or “temporary companionship,” mimic marriage in every way except righteousness. The Church, while denouncing polygyny, inadvertently permits fornication under the guise of romantic hope.

3. Pastoral Denialism – Pastors, unwilling to confront the implications of hypergamy or the asymmetry in male spiritual maturity, simply teach “purity until marriage”—while avoiding any structural solutions. They quote Proverbs 18:22 (“He who finds a wife finds a good thing”), but fail to address what happens when five righteous women are found by no man at all.

Indeed, we are living Isaiah 4:1 in slow motion: “Seven women shall take hold of one man, saying, ‘We will eat our own bread and wear our own clothes, only let us be called by your name…’” This passage, long spiritualized or dismissed as obsolete, is now a sociological reality. Women are not clamouring for romance or riches—they are begging for covenantal identity in a barren landscape.

This is not a call to license. It is a call to honesty. If we affirm that YHWH is the same yesterday, today, and forever, then we must ask: why did He bless plural marriages throughout Scripture, regulate them under the Law (Ex. 21:10), and present Himself as a plural covenant Husband (Jer. 3:6–14)—only for modern theologians to declare it immoral?

The Church is not merely ignoring polygyny. It is driving soft polygyny underground, refusing to sanctify what it cannot control. The result is dysfunction, deception, and despair. And all the while, Satan rejoices—not because men are taking multiple wives, but because no one is taking responsibility for the souls entrusted to them.

It is time to ask a painful question: would a righteous plural covenant—structured, sacrificial, and Scripture-based—not be holier than a thousand monogamous pretences that end in emotional breakdown and spiritual drift?

The time has come to reckon with our own ecclesial captivity. Polygyny is not the problem—it may well be the solution.

Let us now consider the divine blueprint: the covenantal model of plural marriage as expressed in the prophetic imagery of Scripture.

D. The Jeremiah Principle – YHWH, Covenant, and Sacred Plurality

It is an irony worthy of Jeremiah himself: the Church, while proclaiming a God of covenant, recoils at one of the clearest covenantal metaphors He has revealed—YHWH as a plural Husband.

In Jeremiah 3, the prophet indicts both Israel and Judah for spiritual adultery. But embedded within this rebuke is an unsettling theological fact: YHWH refers to Himself as having married both nations. “Return, O backsliding children,” He pleads, “for I am married unto you” (Jer. 3:14, KJV). Two wives. One Husband. Not metaphorically divided over time—but simultaneously claimed in a covenantal union.

This is not isolated imagery. In Ezekiel 23, YHWH addresses the same sisters—Oholah (Samaria) and Oholibah (Jerusalem)—and speaks not as a symbolic deity but as a jealous husband recounting betrayal, longing, and the ache of righteousness spurned. In Isaiah 4:1, the prophetic imagination breaks through eschatological boundaries: “Seven women shall take hold of one man, saying, ‘We will eat our own bread and wear our own apparel; only let us be called by your name…’” (Isa. 4:1, KJV). The Scripture does not condemn this. It records it. And then, in the very next verse, it describes a purified remnant, a branch of the Lord glorified.

For modern interpreters trained in Greco-Roman marital idealism, these texts are theological landmines. But for those grounded in the Mosaic tradition, they are declarations of divine architecture.

Under Torah, polygyny was not only permitted—it was regulated, indicating assumed legitimacy. Exodus 21:10 explicitly commands that if a man takes another wife, “her food, her clothing, and her conjugal rights he shall not diminish.” Here, plurality is not condemned as licentiousness but restrained as covenantal responsibility. The man must provide equitably. Not in preference, but in justice.

Indeed, the patriarchs were not mere men of faith—they were men of plurality. Abraham had Sarah, Hagar, and later Keturah (Gen. 16, 25). Jacob’s household—formed through Leah, Rachel, Bilhah, and Zilpah—became the very nation of Israel. Moses, the Law-giver himself, had Zipporah and a Cushite wife (Exod. 2:21; Num. 12:1). David and Solomon, while falling to excess and idolatry, were not condemned for plurality in itself, but for disobedience to covenantal boundaries (1 Kings 11:3–4). In fact, YHWH tells David through the prophet Nathan: “If that had been too little, I would moreover have given unto thee such and such things” (2 Sam. 12:8, KJV)—including additional wives.

Yet modern Christendom, forged in the monogamist fires of Roman law and later Victorian sentimentality, views polygyny not as regulated Biblical normalcy but as a moral aberration. This is not sola Scriptura—it is sola cultura.

Why, then, would YHWH present Himself as a Husband to multiple covenantal brides if the very structure were inherently sinful? Is YHWH’s metaphor a lie? Or is it an invitation to see plurality not as chaos—but as capacity?

Plural marriage, in its righteous form, is not about domination or indulgence. It is about divine delegation—a man taking responsibility for more than one woman in a world that has abandoned them. It is about covenantal restoration, not competition. It is the earthly image of a heavenly reality: One Elohim, many faithful, two nations, one covenant.

And here lies the Jeremiah Principle: that restoration often comes through uncomfortable return. “Turn, O backsliding children… and I will take you one of a city, and two of a family, and I will bring you to Zion” (Jer. 3:14). This is not a regression to patriarchal abuse, but a progression into Biblical plurality—rooted in covenant, regulated by Torah, and modelled by YHWH Himself.

When the Church insists that one man can only love one woman, it denies the very gospel it preaches—where one Messiah is Bridegroom to a multitude. Plurality is not foreign to faith. It is at its heart.

To restore covenant families, we must first restore covenant frameworks. That means acknowledging that the divine blueprint for marriage is wider than we’ve allowed—and holier than we’ve imagined.

Let us now turn from the theological to the personal. What happens when a modern woman not only accepts polygyny—but flourishes in it?

E. The Empowered Wife – Why Women Can Flourish in Polygyny

In a world saturated with narratives of female competition, betrayal, and abandonment, the idea that a woman might flourish in a polygynous covenant sounds, at first blush, like theological heresy or emotional delusion. And yet, hidden beneath centuries of Greco-Roman monogamist dogma lies an ancient, Biblical possibility: that righteous polygyny can empower, not erase, the woman of valour.

At the center of this reclamation stands a living witness: Dr. Rochagné Kilian, physician, dissident, and plural wife. In her now-viral interview on the Kowalski Analysis (Ep. 112), she dismantles the caricature of the “powerless first wife” with elegance and candour. “I wasn’t being replaced,” she explains, reflecting on the moment her husband considered covenant with another woman. “I was being realigned.”

This single phrase reorients the entire conversation. In covenantal polygyny, women are not interchangeable objects to be cycled through, but integral instruments in a broader divine composition. Their worth is not diminished by the presence of another—but deepened by the shared participation in mission, legacy, and covenantal support.

The Benefits Women Often Discover in Polygyny:

1. Internal Growth:

   Contrary to the modern emphasis on “emotional ownership,” polygyny invites a woman into a sanctified relinquishment of control. This is not passive resignation, but active refinement. As Dr. Kilian notes, “I had to face the truth: it wasn’t about the other woman. It was about my own fears, my need for control, and my resistance to trusting YHWH’s design.” Submission, in this context, is not a diminishment of self—but the unleashing of mature trust (Isa. 26:3).

2. Shared Burden:

   Marriage, motherhood, and household labour can easily become isolating and overwhelming—especially for competent women expected to “do it all.” In a righteous polygynous household, burdens are distributed, not doubled. Emotional labour, domestic tasks, and even child-rearing become shared endeavours. As the Proverbs 31 woman is praised for her strength and industry, so too may plural wives support one another in becoming more—not less.

3. Restored Balance:

   Rather than being consumed by relational anxiety or inflated romantic expectations, women in polygynous marriages often describe a sense of equilibrium. When a covenant is not built on exclusivity, but on shared purpose, the emotional stakes shift. Jealousy, while real, becomes an opportunity for virtue—not a death knell for joy. Dr. Kilian describes this dynamic as “an invitation to recalibrate—to find identity not in possession, but in participation.”

4. Freedom from Ownership:

   At the heart of modern monogamy lies a dangerous myth: you own your spouse’s love, attention, and body. Scripture teaches otherwise. A man’s body is not his own (1 Cor. 7:4), and no woman was ever given ownership of a man’s calling. In polygyny, women are reminded that their value lies not in exclusivity, but in irreplaceability. “You never owned him,” one plural wife wrote. “You were sent to co-labor with him.”

Polygyny, when governed by righteousness and not ruled by licentiousness, creates an ecosystem in which women can thrive. But this requires a man with mission, maturity, and mantle—and women with faith, humility, and purpose.

As Dr. Kilian reflects: “My submission became my strength. And my trust became my freedom. Once I stopped trying to control the table, I was finally free to set it.”

Polygyny is not for every woman. Nor is it a cure-all for relational dysfunction. But for those called to it—and for those willing to be sanctified in it—it may become a place of extraordinary empowerment.

Next, let us turn to the men. Not the licentious, self-exalting caricatures—but the few who are worthy of the weight.

For Bible-Believing Men – Lead With Weight, Not LICENTIOUSNESS

In an age, bloated with male mediocrity and infatuated with hollow charisma, the image of a man with multiple wives is met with either suspicion or scorn. He must be egotistical, manipulative, or chronically unsatisfied—or so the stereotype goes. But the Scriptures offer another portrait: a man of mission, to whom YHWH entrusts more than one daughter because his shoulders can bear the weight.

Polygyny is not for cowards. Nor is it for consumers of women. It is for kings. And a king is not a man with a harem—he is a man who builds houses, establishes justice, and governs with the fear of YHWH. A coach to turn wenches into queens. In the Biblical framework, true polygyny is not about the multiplication of pleasure, but the multiplication of purpose.

I. The Playboy Polygamist Must Die

Before we speak of the mantle, we must bury the myth. The so-called “high-value man” of manosphere lore—hedonistic, cunning, emotionally elusive—is not a patriarch. He is a parasite. His multiple partners are not covenantal co-laborers, but trophies of conquest. Scripture offers no praise for such men. On the contrary, it condemns those who devour women without covering them (Isa. 3:12–15; Mal. 2:16).

Biblical polygyny is not an entitlement—it is a crucible. As Dr. Rochagné Kilian aptly warns: “Most men can barely handle one wife. The idea that every man should pursue more than one is absurd. It’s not about permission. It’s about capacity.”

And that capacity is measured not in bank accounts or biceps, but in righteous governance.

“You don’t get to multiply wives until you’ve multiplied wisdom.”

II. The Triple Mandate: Provide, Protect, Pastor

If you are a Bible-believing man considering plural covenant, test yourself against these mandates. The Word of YHWH does not ask if you are interested—it asks if you are worthy.

1. Provide – “If he takes another wife to himself, he shall not diminish her food, her clothing, or her marital rights” (Exod. 21:10, ESV). Provision is not optional—it is judicially binding. In Torah, a man’s failure to provide for each wife is grounds for divine censure. To pursue plurality without financial foresight is to walk in rebellion.

2. Protect – Every woman you covenant with becomes your charge. Her name, reputation, children, and legacy are under your shield and stewardship. If you cannot defend her—emotionally, socially, and spiritually—then you are not fit to receive her.

3. Pastor – A husband is the head of his wife as Messiah is the head of the ekklesia (Eph. 5:23). This is not tyranny. It is sacrificial leadership. Your wives are not your audience—they are your flock. If you cannot disciple your home, you are not ready to expand it.

III. Multiply Legacy, Not Ego

The goal of righteous polygyny is not more intimacy—it is more fruitfulness. Abraham did not take Hagar out of licentiousness. He did so with a legacy view. Jacob did not pursue multiple women. He was drawn into covenantal multiplicity that formed the entire nation of Israel. Even David, whose household was vast, was rebuked not for plurality but for sinful acquisition (2 Sam. 12:8–9). The sin was not more wives—it was the theft of another man’s.

Modern men must ask: is your desire for polygyny driven by licentiousness, or legacy? Do you want more women—or do you want to build a multigenerational household rooted in righteousness and Torah?

Polygyny is not a workaround for sexual weakness. It is a test of stewardship. Your household becomes an embassy of YHWH’s order, and every daughter of Zion under your covering becomes a living testimony of your governance. If your wives are fearful, anxious, neglected, or competing for scraps of affection—you have disqualified yourself.

If, however, they are flourishing, bold, rested, and radiant—your leadership is preaching a better gospel than most pulpits.

IV. The Kings Must Rise

We are not calling for a mass revival of indiscriminate polygyny. We are calling for the rise of kings—men who fear YHWH, embrace the covenant and understand that headship is but a burden. These are the men whom YHWH may trust with two or three of His daughters—not for indulgence, but for justice.

And if YHWH would entrust you with one wife, treat her with the weight of eternity. If He would entrust you with two, double your discipline. Triple your intercession. Raise up a household, not a harem.

Let this generation of men put away childish things. Let them die to licentiousness, die to pride, and be reborn as patriarchs—not performers. Let their love be deeper than novelty, and their households stronger than culture.

For a man of mantle, the multiplication of wives is not a reward. It is a requirement born of mission.

Next, let us speak tenderly but truthfully to the women—those wrestling with exclusivity, identity, and control in a culture of emotional scarcity.

F. A Word to Women – Reclaiming Value Without Controlling Covenant

In modern marriage, a woman is often taught—implicitly or explicitly—that her value lies in exclusivity. “You are enough,” the culture says, “so long as he’s only yours.” Monogamy becomes a mirror in which she sees herself, and should that mirror crack—through betrayal, temptation, or even righteous plurality—her identity feels shattered.

But this is not covenant. It is control masquerading as security.

Covenant is not about exclusivity. It is about irreplaceability. A woman is not valuable because she is one-of-one—but because she is chosen to co-labour in a house not her own, under a name not her own, for a legacy greater than her own.

And that is precisely where the peace lies.

“You never owned him. You were sent to co-labour with him.”

To the woman who feels threatened by polygyny, the question is not whether your fears are real—they are. The question is: are they rooted in truth or in trauma? Are you holding onto your husband, or holding up your household?

I. Control is Not Covenant

When Eve reached for the fruit, it was not because she wanted to destroy Adam—it was because she wanted control over her own destiny. But in seeking control, she broke covenant. This is the perennial temptation of every woman: to grasp what she was meant to receive, and to guard what she was never meant to own.

In polygyny, this temptation sharpens. The presence of another wife is not just a change in dynamic—it is a threat to the illusion of possession. Yet Biblical covenant was never built on possession. Rachel could not erase Leah. Peninnah could not silence Hannah. Sarah could not wish away Hagar. Each was a woman under covenant—and YHWH saw them all (Gen. 16:13; 1 Sam. 1:19).

II. Submission is Not Surrender

The modern woman recoils at the word “submission” because it has been weaponized. But in Scripture, submission is strength in alignment with order. It is not subjugation. It is a tactical decision to support the mission of a man called by YHWH.

Dr. Rochagné Kilian recalls her moment of revelation: “I realized that my resistance to polygyny wasn’t really about another woman. It was about how much I didn’t trust my husband—nor YHWH.”

When a woman submits to a righteous man, she is not becoming less. She is becoming positioned. And when the mission expands—through legacy, community, or necessity—her trust is revealed not in how loudly she objects, but in how faithfully she walks.

“A wise woman builds her house, but the foolish tears it down with her own hands” (Prov. 14:1).

III. Identity Without Exclusivity

If your value is predicated on being the only one, then it is built on fragile ground. YHWH's daughters were never meant to compete for emotional monopolies. They were meant to stand in honor, clothed in strength and dignity (Prov. 31:25), whether alone or among sisters.

In a righteous plural covenant, the wise woman does not ask, “Am I enough?” She asks, “Am I faithful?” And she knows that her uniqueness is not threatened by another’s presence, because her role, her personality, her gifts—her soul—cannot be replicated.

Exclusivity may appeal to the flesh. But peace is born from order, not ownership. You were never meant to police his eyes. You were meant to walk in covenantal confidence, knowing that you are seen, known, and protected.

IV. Choose Courage Over Control

To the woman wrestling with polygyny, the challenge is not to accept what you do not yet believe. It is to ask deeper questions about your own identity, your theology of marriage, and your trust in YHWH’s design.

Would you rather be the only woman in a man’s life who has no mission—or one of several covenantal co-laborers in a household led by a man of YAH?

Would you rather be emotionally "safe" in a monogamous shell that breeds resentment—or vulnerable in a structure that fosters sanctification?

YHWH is not calling you to silence your concerns. But He may be calling you to lay down your need to control what only He can govern.

“Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised” (Prov. 31:30).

Let that be your crown—not your exclusivity, not your status, and not your husband's undivided attention. Let your value rest where it was always meant to: in your fear of YHWH, and in your faithful fulfillment of covenant.

Let us now speak to the shepherds—those who have too long stood between the daughters of Zion and the Word that would set them free.

g. A Challenge to Church Leaders – Stop Policing What YHWH Permits

For nearly two millennia, the Church has governed marriage not merely by the Word of YHWH, but by the cultural norms of empire. From the Roman ideal of conjugal exclusivity to the Enlightenment’s bourgeois morality, the Western Church has steadily elevated monogamy-only doctrine to the status of divine command—without a single verse to sustain it.

“Have you not read?” Yes, we have. And nowhere does Scripture condemn polygyny.

And yet, in pulpits across Christendom, the man with one wife is lauded, while the man with two is disqualified, regardless of his righteousness. The shepherd with a heart for widows, single mothers, or women left unwed by demographic collapse is scorned—not for sin, but for structure.

This is not theological caution. It is doctrinal captivity.

I. Law vs. Tradition

Church leaders frequently cite 1 Timothy 3:2—“the husband of one wife”—as a prohibition against polygyny. But this phrase, mias gynaikos andra, better rendered “a one-woman man,” refers not to numerical restriction, but to moral fidelity (Luck, Divorce and Remarriage, 2009). Paul is guarding against unfaithfulness, not plurality.

Meanwhile, the Torah—the very law YHWH wrote with His finger—permits and regulates plural marriage (Exod. 21:10). How then has Christian leadership come to forbid what YHWH permits, while tolerating what YHWH condemns (serial divorce, pornography, fatherlessness)? This is not holiness. It is hypocrisy.

II. Teaching Covenant, Not Control

Pastor, theologian, elder—your role is not to police the boundaries of tradition, but to teach the full counsel of YHWH. You are not a gatekeeper of monogamy. You are a servant of the Kingdom. That Kingdom includes men like Abraham, Jacob, Moses, Gideon, David, and Solomon—all polygynists, many prophets.

Rather than censoring polygyny, you should be discipling men in how to walk righteously within it—and counseling women in how to flourish alongside it. Teach covenant, not control. Teach truth, not tradition.

“Let YHWH be true, and every man a liar” (Rom. 3:4).

If we fear polygyny more than we fear fornication, then we have become enforcers of culture, not keepers of covenant.

Stop policing what YHWH permits. Start sanctifying what Scripture regulates.

Let the shepherds return to Torah.

Let the Word speak for itself.

h. Conclusion – Let the Kings Rise

The modern world is quietly becoming polygynous. But it is a polygyny without covenant, without holiness, and without order. It is Tinder in the hands of chaos. It is women orbiting men with no name to carry and no mission to join. It is soft polygyny—unspoken, unsanctified, and unraveling.

And yet the Church, faced with this collapse, clings to a myth: that monogamy-only culture will somehow redeem a generation drowning in delay, despair, and demographic disrepair. It will not.

We are not facing a crisis of polygyny. We are facing a crisis of discipleship.

The solution is not to criminalize plural marriage under the guise of pastoral “wisdom.” The solution is to return to Scripture, return to covenant, and return to the YHWH who never once condemned polygyny, but who instead regulated it, illustrated it, and used it to tell His own redemptive story.

• To the women: you are not being replaced. You are being realigned—from emotional ownership to spiritual partnership.

• To the men: you do not multiply wives until you have multiplied wisdom. Your calling is not to conquer women, but to cover them.

• To the Church: stop defending a tradition that YHWH never mandated. Start defending His daughters with righteous structure.

It is time to raise up households, not harems. Time to bless the fruitful, not just the fashionable. Time to honor covenant, even when it disrupts custom.

Let the kings rise—not as tyrants, but as builders. Men of mantle, mission, and maturity. Men who are worthy of one wife—and only then, perhaps, entrusted with more.

Let the queens rise—not in competition, but in covenant. Women who know their worth is not in exclusivity, but in irreplaceable obedience to the order of YHWH.

“When all the world is asking how many women a man can bed, let us ask instead: how many souls can he lead?”

Let the scrolls be opened again.

Let the tradition be tested.

Let the kings rise.

Bibliography

Books and Peer-Reviewed Articles

• Buss, David M. The Evolution of Desire: Strategies of Human Mating. 4th ed. New York: Basic Books, 2016.

• Geary, David C. "The Evolution of Human Mate Choice." In The Evolution of Human Mate Choice, 1–45. New York: Elsevier Academic Press, 2004.

• Kotsadam, Andreas, Espen Moen, and Knut Røed. "The Economics of Hypergamy." Labour Economics 56 (2019): 23–35.

• Luck, William F. Divorce and Remarriage: Recovering the Biblical View. San Bernardino: William F. Luck, 2009.

• Morgan Stanley Research. "The Rise of the SHEconomy." August 22, 2019.

• Roshchupkina, Olga, Olga Kim, and Eun-Ju Lee. “Rules of Attraction: Female Perception of Male Self-Representation in a Dating App.” Asia Marketing Journal 24, no. 4 (2023): 169–177.

• Rudder, Christian. Dataclysm: Who We Are (When We Think No One’s Looking). New York: Crown, 2015.

• Taraban, Orion. "Psych Hacks" "WOMEN are making society POLYGAMOUS: the surprising consequence of female success" [YouTube channel], ongoing.

• Larsen, Mads. "An Evolutionary Case for Polygyny to Counter Demographic Collapse." Frontiers in Psychology 14 (2023): 1062950.

• Barna Group. State of the Church 2019. Ventura, CA: Barna Group, 2019.

• Pew Research Center. "Religion and Living Arrangements Around the World." October 2021.

Scripture

The Holy Bible, (NASB95):

Jeremiah 3, Ezekiel 23, Isaiah 4:1, Exodus 21:10, 1 Timothy 3:2, Proverbs 31:30, Proverbs 14:1, 1 Corinthians 7:4, Psalm 68:6, Romans 3:4, Genesis 16, Genesis 25, Exodus 2:21, Numbers 12:1, 2 Samuel 12:8–9, 1 Kings 11:3–4, Isaiah 3:12–15, Malachi 2:16, Ephesians 5:23.

Personal Testimony

Kilian, Dr. Rochagné. “The Smart Girl’s Guide to Polygyny,” interview by Rob Kowalski. Kowalski Analysis Podcast, Episode 112, February 2025. (Transcript on file with author.)

Other

Additional demographic and sociological data cited from the General Social Survey (GSS), U.S. Census Bureau, and relevant academic and government databases.